Building Communication Between Bigs and Parents/Guardians

Communication between parents/guardians and Bigs is essential to the formation of strong and healthy mentoring relationships. Here are some helpful tips provided by BBBS staff, Bigs and parents based on their own first-hand experiences:

Tips for Bigs

Practical and Logistical Concerns:

• Be sure to approve all activities and outings with parents ahead of time.
• Communicate with parents via multiple channels – phone, email, text.
• Be on time when picking up and dropping off your Little.
• Make contact ahead of time if plans change.

Interpersonal communication:

• Be patient and understand that it may take time to foster a trusting relationship with parents.
• If you want to share a concern about your Little with his or her parent, do so when he or she is not present to avoid the Little’s embarrassment or discomfort.
• Be flexible and considerate of parents’ other obligations or challenges, such as work schedules.

Tips for Parents

Practical and Logistical Concerns:

• Let the mentor know about any important rules, food limitations, or times that your child is usually unavailable.
• Let your child’s Big know when you approve activities and outings they’ve suggested.
• Encourage your child to be ready and on time for outings.
• Let the mentor know right away about any changes in your contact information or other changes that may affect the mentoring relationship.

Interpersonal communication:

• Don’t withhold meetings with the mentor as a form of punishment. Remember that you and the mentor are a team. If your child is being “grounded,” work out a plan with the Big to ensure that they can continue to see your child.
• If you want to share a concern about your child with his or her Big, do so when your child is not present to avoid his or her embarrassment or discomfort.
• Let your child’s Big know when you notice positive changes resulting from the mentoring relationship, like improved behavior and/or school performance. Your praise means a lot!